Attention all North West Londoners. Please learn from my mistake. Despite what you may believe, Essex – and I discovered this to my considerable embarrassment last Thursday – is not one big amorphous blob to the right of London.
It is, in fact, composed of various
different towns and districts.
Attention
all members of Newbury Park JACS. Please accept my humble apologies. It was
entirely my fault. Mrs Pliskin did a wonderful job. I’m just an idiot.
For
those of you who weren’t caught up in the carnage of my calendar catastrophe last
Thursday, allow me to elaborate. The role of Jewish News editor involves far
more than simply putting together the newspaper on a weekly basis and
responding to emails from irate readers who think some contributors (no names
mentioned) should be burnt at the stake. Every so often – indeed quite
regularly – I’m invited to address various groups to talk about the paper, to
share my views on matters of topical interest or to simply represent us at
communal functions. Indeed as I write this at 8am on Sunday morning, I’m very
conscious of the time for at 11am I have to be in Elstree to film a video relating
to my participation in WJR’s Kiss Come Dancing spectacular on 17 January and
then at 2am I have to be at the London Jewish Cultural Centre to present prizes
to the winners of this year’s Jewish News-LJCC Rosh Hashanah Card Competition.
As
far as is possible, I try to accommodate all requests. Which is why when Mrs
Pliskin of the Jewish Association of Cultural Societies at Coventry Road
Synagogue in Essex called earlier this year to
ask me to speak to her members last Thursday I was happy to oblige, and
scribbled ‘Essex JACS’ it into my diary. So far, so good. But then it all went
horribly wrong. For a couple of weeks later, I received what I thought was
another phone call from Essex simply
confirming the arrangement. “Yes,” I said, “I’m very much looking forward to
speaking to Woodford JACS on 4 December.”
The
die had been cast.
And
so it was last Thursday that as I was leaving the office I turned to some
colleagues from Essex and asked for some
pointers on the best route to reach Coventry Road in Woodford. They looked at me blankly. Coventry Road is
Ilford not Woodford they informed me. I furrowed my brow and started to rifle
through the correspondence in my in-tray. And there it was – a letter from
Woodford JACS, with travel instructions to the synagogue in a road called
Churchfields. Mystery solved. Not sure where I got Coventry Road from, but Woodford it most
certainly was. And so I set off on my merry way, happy as Larry.
Two
hours later, standing on the podium discussing the twin threats of neo-nazism
and Islamic fundamentalism, I spotted my phone furiously flashing away. Various
text messages had arrived from work asking if I was almost at JACS and whether
I was ok. “What are you talking about?” I texted back surreptitiously. “I’ve
been with them for the past half an hour. I’m in the middle of my speech right
now.”
Oh
the shame. Woodford, Ilford, two very distinct places, each with their very own
JACS group. But just hearing ‘Essex’ and ‘4 December’, I’d conflated them in my
head.
And
so it is, with a humble heart, that I offer my sincerest apologies to those I
stood up at Coventry Road.
I hope to make it up to you in the New Year.
In
the meantime, I have to get myself over to Elstree and the LJCC. Then again,
maybe that’s supposed to be Elsie at the LJCC. Oh no, here we go again…
If you are in manchester, here you can see all the important times for this days.
all the best
shlomo
http://hebrewpublishing.com
Posted by: shlomo | March 10, 2009 at 10:28 AM